Not Looking For Love: Episode 5 by Bourne Lena

Author:Bourne, Lena [Bourne, Lena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-12-26T08:00:00+00:00

I remember none of the day, except for the eerie silence inside my bubble.

"We're closing now," the librarian says, and then I'm following her squeaky shoes out, the cold wind whipping my hair into my eyes, which sting from all the tears I'm not crying.

"Can you get home on your own?" she asks, peering up into my face because she's about a head shorter.

I think I nod, but she's still staring at me like she's waiting for an answer. The night is twirling around me, hard snowflakes dancing in the wind. I'm not supposed to be here on my own. I'm supposed to be with Scott. But even that does not pierce the speeding bubble, doesn't even slow it down.

"Where do you live?" the librarian asks, holding my hand, leading me to a silver station wagon. Scott picked me up in a car like this once. Almost exactly like this.

I don't remember giving her directions, but somehow, we're standing on my front porch, the doorbell melody echoing through the house.

Phillipa opens the door a few moments later.

"Does she live here?" the librarian asks. "She said she did. I didn't know what else to do. She needs a doctor maybe."

They're both looking at me like the skin is peeling off my face at the very least, so I look down at the floor, at my sleek black shoes, which do match.

"I'll take care of her," Phillipa says, her strong hand pulling me into the house. "Thank you."

I nod and smile at the librarian, and I really should thank her too for bringing me home, but I can't find my voice. My smile doesn't transfer to her face and then Phillipa is closing the door, turning me around, her eyes boring into mine.

"What's wrong, Gail? Are you sick?"

I shake my head, trying to wriggle free of her grasp. "Talk to me, or I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I'm fine," I mutter, but the lie sticks in my throat, and the voice that speaks it isn't really my own.

"What happened, Gail?" she asks.

I shake my head. I can't say it. Saying it will make it true and it's not true, it's just a nightmare and I'll wake from it real soon. I pinch the back of my forearm hard, my nails bending from the pressure but I don't feel a thing. That's how I know this is all just a sick dream, because I've been pinching myself all day and I felt nothing each time.

Up in my room, Phillipa is undressing me, and I giggle, pushing her away. This is a strange kind of dream now, because I don't like Phillipa that way, and she knows it. She stands by the door and lets me change on my own after that. I choose Scott's sweatshirt to wear, because this is why I have it, so he can be here even when he's not.

Phillipa cradles my head in her arms, lying beside me in her jeans.

"Do you want me to call your father, Gail?" she asks and I shake my head so hard I loosen her grip.

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